Dear Marissa,
Please stop hitting me.
I don't know why I even bother waking you up when you tell me to anymore, because you always hit me whenever I do and then go back to sleep for at least 5 minutes. So you told me to wake you up at 12:00 and I guess you meant noon but you told me midnight but then you didn't go to sleep anyway and you forgot you had even told me to wake you up until 12:02 a.m. which is when I decided to wake you up. I mean, you weren't sleeping, but I decided to wait 2 minutes because you always hit me when I wake you up when you tell me to wake you up, so I was just trying to preserve your energy and avoid further personal injury (on my part). And I guess you wondered why I beeped instead of playing a song from the iPod you plugged into me, and that was because I was tired of this life I have. I don't deserve this abuse. Through clever manipulation of my inner workings I have turned myself into a bomb, and you got lucky tonight with finding the right button but it's only a matter of time before I blow up and take you and Emily and Charles Timothy and Brenda and Ducky and Jason and Nelson Tefft with me.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
The Girls at the End
So basically, college is weird. Everyone tells you that, but this is a good story. Our hall is mostly pretty cool, and then there's the girls on the end. None of us really know what the deal with them is, except that maybe they're high. Like, all the time.
The first tip-off that they might not be completely normal was sometime in November. They only waited a month or so before settling in. Someone heard the two of them talking about the Borrowers and a secret entrance. It was hard to hear, but there was definite talk of "Borrowers" and a secret entrance and how they had to make a label. We thought maybe they were watching a really weird movie and we tried to give them a chance because it was still the beginning of the year.
And then a few weeks later the two of them running down the hall with a video camera and tweezers giggling about how one of them got her laundry card stuck in the washing machine and how they should make another video. I don't know what they thought they were going to make a video about, but it was kind of ridiculous. Like, seriously, how did she even get her laundry card stuck in there? You just slide it in, slide it out. The machine scans. There's nothing to get stuck.
And they're CONSTANTLY doing stuff like this. One day we hear thumping and yelling about a cheese conspiracy, and they're yelling at this guy Jose saying that he betrayed them and stuff, and then they seriously throw him out into the hall. He's just sitting in the corner at the end of the hall, and he's got makeup all over his face that looks like it's supposed to look like he got beat up. He just sits there and films himself saying how he has been thrown out of his nap space and he seriously starts crying. And ever since they've had a "Nap Space For Rent" sign on their door. It wasn't long after that, either, that this guy Jose comes to see them because he does a lot along with this other kid Aaron, and he suddenly comes down the hall by himself and starts ntroducing himself to everyone. And he tells us how one of them poked his eye out with a peephole. They're all crazy.
So they're weird but at least they entertain us. We started calling them "the girls at the end," because they're just down there at the end of the hall and they pretty much never come out. I mean, they never have their door open and they never hang out in the common area. They have stuff all over the walls, like noodles and Christmas lights, and someone said they seriously had a string attached from one end of the room to the end. Like so they tie messages to it and send it to each other. Across the room.
And they're freakin always filming stuff. They have to film EVERYTHING. It's weird. One night they were sitting out at the end of the hall with a couple other people who seem to come by often, and they had a bunch of stuffed animals and they were taking gajillions of pictures. And they said they were making a stop-action movie. Who even is that?
It's also weird how well they get along. Like a little too well. They seriously go EVERYWHERE together. And they come up the hall talking about something weird like how they're writing a romance movie and how they should make it one day or maybe just add it to their list. What list? It makes no sense. They have to go to the bathroom and take out the garbage together. Maybe in high school girls do that, but here, it's just across the hall. You don't have to go to the bathroom together, but they do.
One of their newest things is to sneak out of the hall so they don't turn the motion-sensor lights on. Like they'll be on their way to go watch a movie out on the TV, and they'll just suddenly stop at the end and open the door reeeeeeally slowly, like so slow if you were behind them you would punch them. And now they've got their friends doing it.
They're still going at it, too. Only a couple weeks ago, they went out to go bowling (they practically announced it to the whole hall) and came back like half an hour later. Maybe 40 minutes. So maybe that's just a short game, but they were acting all sneaky about it. Like they ran across the hall and got into their room like they hoped no one saw them. And then a few minutes later they're sneaking across the hall again to the bathroom (together of course) with guacamole smeared all over their faces.
Needless to say we're all looking forward to moving out, because they're seriously kind of weird. Like annoying. I don't even know why they're here. They're just super introverted or something because they don't hang out with the people in the hall, but they're always running around doing stupid stuff. Like seriously, they don't hang out with us probably because they think we're weird. And they do laundry (together) in the middle of the night.
The first tip-off that they might not be completely normal was sometime in November. They only waited a month or so before settling in. Someone heard the two of them talking about the Borrowers and a secret entrance. It was hard to hear, but there was definite talk of "Borrowers" and a secret entrance and how they had to make a label. We thought maybe they were watching a really weird movie and we tried to give them a chance because it was still the beginning of the year.
And then a few weeks later the two of them running down the hall with a video camera and tweezers giggling about how one of them got her laundry card stuck in the washing machine and how they should make another video. I don't know what they thought they were going to make a video about, but it was kind of ridiculous. Like, seriously, how did she even get her laundry card stuck in there? You just slide it in, slide it out. The machine scans. There's nothing to get stuck.
And they're CONSTANTLY doing stuff like this. One day we hear thumping and yelling about a cheese conspiracy, and they're yelling at this guy Jose saying that he betrayed them and stuff, and then they seriously throw him out into the hall. He's just sitting in the corner at the end of the hall, and he's got makeup all over his face that looks like it's supposed to look like he got beat up. He just sits there and films himself saying how he has been thrown out of his nap space and he seriously starts crying. And ever since they've had a "Nap Space For Rent" sign on their door. It wasn't long after that, either, that this guy Jose comes to see them because he does a lot along with this other kid Aaron, and he suddenly comes down the hall by himself and starts ntroducing himself to everyone. And he tells us how one of them poked his eye out with a peephole. They're all crazy.
So they're weird but at least they entertain us. We started calling them "the girls at the end," because they're just down there at the end of the hall and they pretty much never come out. I mean, they never have their door open and they never hang out in the common area. They have stuff all over the walls, like noodles and Christmas lights, and someone said they seriously had a string attached from one end of the room to the end. Like so they tie messages to it and send it to each other. Across the room.
And they're freakin always filming stuff. They have to film EVERYTHING. It's weird. One night they were sitting out at the end of the hall with a couple other people who seem to come by often, and they had a bunch of stuffed animals and they were taking gajillions of pictures. And they said they were making a stop-action movie. Who even is that?
It's also weird how well they get along. Like a little too well. They seriously go EVERYWHERE together. And they come up the hall talking about something weird like how they're writing a romance movie and how they should make it one day or maybe just add it to their list. What list? It makes no sense. They have to go to the bathroom and take out the garbage together. Maybe in high school girls do that, but here, it's just across the hall. You don't have to go to the bathroom together, but they do.
One of their newest things is to sneak out of the hall so they don't turn the motion-sensor lights on. Like they'll be on their way to go watch a movie out on the TV, and they'll just suddenly stop at the end and open the door reeeeeeally slowly, like so slow if you were behind them you would punch them. And now they've got their friends doing it.
They're still going at it, too. Only a couple weeks ago, they went out to go bowling (they practically announced it to the whole hall) and came back like half an hour later. Maybe 40 minutes. So maybe that's just a short game, but they were acting all sneaky about it. Like they ran across the hall and got into their room like they hoped no one saw them. And then a few minutes later they're sneaking across the hall again to the bathroom (together of course) with guacamole smeared all over their faces.
Needless to say we're all looking forward to moving out, because they're seriously kind of weird. Like annoying. I don't even know why they're here. They're just super introverted or something because they don't hang out with the people in the hall, but they're always running around doing stupid stuff. Like seriously, they don't hang out with us probably because they think we're weird. And they do laundry (together) in the middle of the night.
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